When I think about where I’ve come from, where I’ve been, where I am now and remark, “Holy hell, that was a long walk.”

I’ve skirted the edges of “well-fed” for years, originally thinking it had everything to do with my kale consumption.  Raw almonds.  Check.  Gluten-free?  On it.  No sugar?  DONE.  I had control dialed in.  My go-to girl, of sorts.  Eat this, not that.  Wear this, never that.  Smooth down your hair.  Can’t you control your curls?  No permission, only perfection.  I trusted that if I held on tight and followed the rules, my life would blossom into the fully-lived, happiness-fest I pined for.

Not so, dear girl.  Not so.  Turns out, it’s not possible to create a well-fed life while living in a state of gripped withholding.  One cannot be well-fed when only allowed to edge desires, filling life with shoulds rather than needs.  Favoring restriction over satiety.

I look to what fed me then, competitive exercise, compulsive scale-checking, counting fat grams, each lined up like dutiful Von Trapp children waiting for my whistle, and I thank my wiser, older self for coming to her senses.  It was slow going, slogging at times, and totally worth it for as we know, a poorly-fed life is no life at all.

I now relish in the bubbling spring of permission that is my well-fed way.  I stretch and languish in the warmth that is me saying YES to me.  All of me.  Funny faces, wild hair, fears and all.  Kale continues to play a big part, as does cabbage, goat cheese, truffles and Sauvignon Blanc.  Food lays the beautiful foundation of my fulfillment, yet it is not my only fulfillment, as it once was.

After food I feed off writing, each morning.  Opening my heart all over the white, accepting page.  I take big bites of dance, shaking, flowing, flopping and spinning when the music moves me, sometimes at the salsa club, often on my kitchen tiles.

I take naps when I’m hungry for them.  And sometimes when I’m not.  Sometimes I sleep just for kicks because in my well-fed life, I can.  And do.

Freedom.  Peace.  Ease.  Wisdom.  These are the feelings that feed me now and round out my life, filling it to the brim.  I write, dance, dream, and coach from these states and drop in regularly to what is real.  I wonder, “What can I do to feel free today?  What dish will most please my tummy and tastebuds?  Where am I saying NO that could be a YES?”  I finally feel listened to and with that, full and satiated.  It shocks me, still.  Shocking that the well-fed life I craved for years arrived, not with restrictive willpower, but when I gave myself permission to have it.  No regulations or perfection required.  Only communion with what truly nourishes me, body and soul.  I come back to that communion daily and say YES to her in the biggest voice I can muster.  Sometimes it’s scary to say yes.  Terrifying actually.   But it must be done to experience any semblance of freedom.

And so I say…

Yes to dance, expression, and heart-stopping love.  Yes to chocolate, gut guffaws and witty email banter.  Yes to red lips, hip-hugging jeans, sexy sunglasses and dinner with the girls.  Yes to tears, the cavernous nature of my soul, space, driving too fast, alone time, stomping across the living room and screaming at the top of my lungs.

I say YES to these things and more because, now, with my YES, my big, well-fed life can hold it all.

Tell me in the comments below, what does your well-fed life look like?  What are you ready to say YES to?  Where can you being to feel fully nourished?

Love this post?  Then pass it along to other ladies who deserve a well-fed life.

Biggest love and I cannot wait to hear,

Jamie

P.S.  Not sure what a well-fed life even looks like for you?  Don’t worry, sweet girl, the answer is here.  Today is your last chance to sign up for the Delicious Detox, which starts TOMORROW.  For any woman looking for a well-fed life, this program is a brilliant place to start.  This is the last time the Delicious Detox will be run, so if your heart is calling for some good feeding, it’s time to get onboard.  

After last week’s post my inbox was flooded, more like busting at the seams, with people thanking me for hitting on the detox topic.  At a time of year when everyone jumps on a new diet or juice fast, it can be difficult to know what to do.  We lose our internal compass and get caught up in the stream of shoulds, musts and promises of getting antioxidant pumped and primed for everlasting health.

Instead of asking yourself, “Should I change my diet, cut the caffeine, or sequester the sugar?” the real question to ask is, “How do I want to feel in my body?  What sensations do I want to experience when I wake up in the morning?  What would it be like to have feeling good about ME be easy and normal?”

These are the questions we ask and answer in the Delicious Detox.   After countless inquiries about the program I’ve decided to run it again, for one last time.  That’s right.  With so many new projects in the JamieLiving hopper (get excited) this will be the last year I run the Delicious Detox.  So it’s time to get on it!  I’ve also decided to keep the detox small and am only sharing the program with my JamieLiving community.  Meaning the women who participate will get lots of sweet Jamie time during our LIVE Q&A calls and on our private Facebook page.  As my one-on-one practice has filled and my group programs have gotten larger, this is a rare opportunity to receive support and coaching in a small, select group.

This is not a detox of pills or powders.  I’m all about the real food and within the 10 days, you get to eat LOTS of it. Together we take out sugar, caffeine, gluten, processed soy and dairy which open up your plate and palate and a slew of amazing alternatives.  (Including dates stuffed with almond butter.  Heaven!)

The detox start May 13th and ends May 23rd.

OK, I’m stoked!  Are you in?

Of course I would love to have you join me for the final Delicious Detox go round.  With 10 days of unbelievable recipes, menus, information-packed calls and LIVE support, it’s an opportunity that promises to be something closer to a delicious dance party than a detox.

SO how do you know if this is right for you?  Simple.  There is no need to hem or ha or go round and round with the “should I” or “shouldn’t I.”  Right now take a big deep breath and ask yourself, “How am I feeling in my body?  Do I currently feel how I want to feel?  Am I eating for nourishment or am I numbing out with nuts?  Have I been honoring myself or throwing myself under the bus?”

In getting clear on these questions, you will know if the Delicious Detox is what you deserve.  All I ask is that you give yourself permission to say YES to you.  If your true desire this May is to eat nutella with a spoon, go for it my sweet sista’.  And if your true desire is to feel light, grounded, energized, secure, fully present in your body and eating more amazing food than you ever have before, then the Delicious Detox might be exacting what you’re craving.

To get all the details and snag your spot our final Delicious Detox adventure click here.

Biggest love and here’s to you saying YES to you!

Jamie

So the other week I talked to you about Brenda, the crazy exercise tyrant.  I can’t tell you how many people emailed to say they’ve been dealing with their own Brenda for years and they thought they were the only one.  Oh no sweet girl, you are not alone.  My clients and I talk about Brenda all the time, and truth be told, she’s just the beginning of the gaggle of gals in your brain.

Meet Molly.  She’s a thoughtful woman.  A caregiver at heart, who always thinks about minimizing waste.  “Oh, you should just finish that,” you hear her whisper after you’ve eaten 1/2 your personal-pan pizza and are beginning to feel your tummy topple over the edge of your pants.  “Come on, there’s hardly anything left, you know you won’t eat the leftovers and there are starving children in Bangladesh.”  Yep, she’s your mother and grandmother rolled into one guilt-tinged voice reminding you to finish everything on your plate.

She sneaks in when you are cleaning up the kitchen, about to toss the 4-day-old chocolate cake you’ve been avoiding for the last 3 nights.  “Really, you are going to toss that? You paid good money for that cake.  You might as well just throw $15 in the trash right now. Go. Do it.  Throw money in the trash right now!”

And so you eat the rest of your pizza and mow through the stale cake.  Not because you are hungry or have no self control but because you feel guilty, wasteful and ashamed.

I hear this all the time from my clients.  Guilt is one of the main reasons they worry about eating out or attending parties with family and friends.  They believe they are untrustworthy with food and make up all sorts of rules when it comes to eating out.  One of my clients actually throws a handful of salt and a dirty napkin on her unfinished food to signal to herself and the world that she is D-O-N-E.  If not, she told me, “I’ll just keep eating to not be wasteful and feel guilty.  But then I feel guilty anyway for eating too much!”

There are a million reasons we eat when we aren’t hungry.  We eat out of boredom, stress, craving comfort, freedom, love, support.  However Molly and her magical way of getting you to pass your full point and eat out of guilt is a nuanced feeling.  She’s tricky, that Miss Molly, because when she chimes in it sounds like she’s right.  Who can stomach being wasteful when there are babies in need?  No one wants to be THAT person.

And yet while there are starving children around the world, unless you send them your leftover, half-wilted salad and congealed chicken, they get no benefit from you feeling guilty and eating on their behalf.

They are not effected one way or the other if you pound the rest of your pasta.   What’s best for you both if you really want to help, is send money to a cause that feeds needy children and then toss (or take as leftovers) the food you are too full to finish.

In other words NOBODY wins when you eat for others.

And of course, in an attempt to dodge the guilt of wasting, your now stuffed stomach signals the guilt of over-eating, which arrives, along with Brenda, to say you are an untrustworthy, eating machine who must now repent with spin class and no dessert for a month. Yep, Molly and Brenda have got you on lockdown.

So how to do you stop being the tennis ball that’s slapped back and forth between these two ladies?

Simple.  Put your body first.  Honor the sensations she sends you when you are getting full.  When your body whispers, “Hey, I’m done,” listen to her rather than let Molly mozy on in with the guilt and shame that keeps you eating.  As you begin to feel the sensation of fullness rise in your tummy, put your fork down and take a big deep breath.  Ask your body, “Hey sweetie, do you want more?”  Notice I said BODY, not your BRAIN (which has Molly waiting in the wings).  When your body replies, “No, I’m good for now, thanks for asking”, stop eating.  You then let the waiter take the unfinished food or have him wrap it up to go.  It’s that easy.

In the comments below I’d love to know, have you ever eaten out of guilt of wastefulness?  What does your Molly say to you while sitting in a restaurant?  Also let me know what tools you have for dealing with the guilt Molly loves to deliver.

As always, biggest love and I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this one,

Jamie

P.S. Remember how I told you about Sarah Jenks’s Live More Weigh Less Video Training Series?  I want to make sure you had a chance to sign up as I think it is the best free training I’ve seen in a while and I don’t want you to miss out.  It’s also a feast for the eyes.   Freakin’ gorgeous!  Click here to get access.