Blog

Hi there my overwhelmed, overworked, mission-driven maven!

Get the guide, and sign up for Jamie Living Updates...it’s FREE!
0

I still want to lose 5 pounds

Did I really just say that?  Yes, I did.  So here’s what happened.

Last winter I got really sick.  Like I-can’t-remember-what-it’s-like-to-feel-healthy sick.  I tried not to get pissed (which is what usually happens when I get sick), but rather see my stuffy nose and pounding head as a sign that I needed to slow down and DO NOTHING.

OK.  Got it.  Message received.

While slightly dazing and burning up, I decided make a list of all the gifts that were hidden in my 102 fever.

More rest.

Time to read.

Long baths.

Watching The Mindy Project.

No appetite.

Losing 5 pounds.

Wait, WTF??  Where did that come from?  Did I really just twist my illness into a weight loss strategy?

Holy goodness.

I was shocked, confused and most importantly, disappointed.  Every day I guide women to value themselves over the number on the scale and here I was, breaking my own cardinal rule.

I took a long, slow breath and decided to check in rather than entertain my disappointment any further.  Here’s what came up:

Yes, I am passed that old story of “I want to lose 5 pounds” AND just because it no longer invades my daily thoughts doesn’t mean it won’t visit once in a while.

Old habits die hard.

The difference is I now know what to do with body image thoughts when they come up.

The old Jamie would’ve been thrilled to effortlessly lose 5 pounds, then for fear of gaining it back, would’ve flipped out and frantically created a plan to keep the weight off.  Now, I no longer believe everything I think.  I’ve learned how to turn myself into a third party observer and recognize the nasty thoughts my mind spits out without allowing them to rule how I feel about my body.

I now step back and say, “Isn’t that curious. I thought you weight-worrying thoughts were gone, and now here you are.  I’m actually glad you showed up because I needed a reminder of how far I’ve come.”

Voila.  Disaster averted.

Ok, now it’s your turn.

Over the next week, notice if any stressful body thoughts arise that you thought you’d kicked to the curb long ago.  Now watch your response.

Do you take the thought as fact?  As truth?  Or can you let yourself become a third party observer and see it strictly as a passing thought, just another blip on the screen of your mind, as benign as navel lint.  See if you can thank the thought for its presence and for reminding you of how far you really have come.

(And if you simply cannot shake the thought that you’ve still got to lose 5 pounds, it’s time for some you + me time.)

Lots of love,

Jamie

P.S.  Know someone who still wants to lose those 5 pounds?  Send them this.

Get the guide, and sign up for Jamie Living Updates...it’s FREE!
0

Why you should eat PIE for dinner

A few weeks ago I ate pie for dinner.

YEP, pie.

No salad first to make sure I got my greens or protein to keep me healthfully full.

JUST PIE.

And let me say, it was actually the last piece of pie from an entire strawberry rhubarb pie I’d been enjoying all week…all by my sweet self.

This was a major test for me. A grand experiment, of sorts.

After years of believing even the smallest amount of sugar would “ruin my health” and now incorporating more dessert into my life over the last 2 years, I was ready for this big leap.

I wanted to know: Could I let myself eat PIE, whenever my body wanted it, without feeling guilty? Could I let myself have pleasure, over and over again, without worrying about the sugar or the gluten or if it might make me fat?

Most importantly I wanted to know, could I TRUST myself to be alone with my favorite food and in a moment of insecurity NOT go ape-shit and eat the entire thing in one sitting to pretend like it never existed.

I talk to my clients about the big question of trust every day. (And if you’d like to talk about it too, let’s do it.) It takes an incredible amount of courage to trust yourself around the foods you’ve deemed treats or “only for special occasions”.  Though it’s nice to save certain foods for indulgences, this can often become a pattern of withholding. Without even knowing it we begin to tell ourselves that we can’t have this and we shouldn’t eat that and before we know it, we’ve created all kinds of food rules to keep ourselves in line, and then suddenly find ourselves binging on the exact foods we told ourselves not to eat.

What a cycle!

Thankfully there’s a path out of this maddening food merry-go-round that has saved my clients and me countless times.

Here are the 4 essential pieces to enjoying anything for dinner without the emotional backlash.

1)  You can have whatever you want, whenever you really want it-  Seriously, you can. The key is having that pie when your body asks for it.  Saying yes when you want it from that place of pure joy, when it’s the only thing in the world that you can imagine eating, RATHER than stuffing your face with something sweet because you lack sweetness in your life or because you need a treat to counteract the pain in your day.

2)  Choose your wellness-  Both cookies and kale fall under wellness in my book. Wellness is that THING that makes you feel best both in the moment and after.  I’m sure there have been times when all you wanted was a cookie but you ate kale instead because it was the more “responsible” choice. How did you feel after? Proud yet unsatisfied? Antsy and looking for something else?  Then that was not your best choice for wellness. When we can let go of black and white thinking around our wellness (kale is good, cookies are bad), we open ourselves to the possibility that everything is wellness and our choice simply depends on where we’re at in that particular moment.  TWEET THIS.

3)  Ditch the guilt-  There are countless studies to tell you sugar’s bad.  And as health conscious people we want to live as long as possible, which naturally leads us to feel GUILTY every time we eat a “bad” food. And yet we also all have stories about grandparents who lived til 93 enjoying daily danishes and cups of coffee with cream.  The moral of the story?  When your body says YES to pie, enjoy it without the guilt.  When your body says no to pie, honor that without tripping on, “But I’ll never let myself have pie again so I should eat it NOW.”  Nothing sucks the joy out of food quicker than guilt.  Choose your wellness, whatever it may be, and own it, guilt-free.

4)  Trust your body- As I mentioned earlier, when I ate pie for dinner it was the last piece of a pie I’d been eating all week.  What I didn’t mention is that it took me 3 days to approach that last piece of pie.  Why?  Because my body wasn’t interested in it until then. Let me be clear. This was not an act of supreme willpower. Had I wanted pie earlier, I would have eaten it. However in tapping into what it would feel like to eat the pie and have it sit in my tummy, my body kept saying no.  And so I waited until I heard a yes.

Trusting your body means checking in with what’s most real from that nugget of knowing perched in your gut. Your body knows when she requires pie. She also knows when she requires tenderness and compassion. The issue is that we often get those signals crossed. Your only job is to keep the ego at bay, listen and honor what’s most true.

Here’s the deal:  Saying yes to yourself and to what your body wants is no small thing so be gentle with yourself in this grand experiment. See if you can choose your wellness from what your body wants rather than letting old stories, insecurities and food rules hijack the situation.

Let go of guilt. Trust yourself and before the summer ends, ask your body if she’d like pie for dinner.

Lots of love,

Jamie

Get the guide, and sign up for Jamie Living Updates...it’s FREE!
0

Cracked Open

A break up.

A house, job, or dear friend, GONE.

Divorce.

Diagnosis.

Debt.

It feels like you’re crumbling.  Falling apart into an unrecognizable jumble of your former self.  And little makes sense.

Confusion reigns and you’d trade anything to go back to before.  Before the explosion, before the loss, before the pain.  Before the knowing.

Truth:  This is not crumbling, though it feels like it.

This is being cracked open.  Awakened.  Split in two, to shine light on what you’ve known and dismissed for years.

Let it hurt.  Let yourself dig deep, cry, rage, lose your mind.  Let the fire of fear and betrayal burn up and out of you.  Feel it all.

Then, see the good.  See the gift that has arrived in this peculiar package.

Let it crack you open to reveal what could’ve never been seen before this grand bomb detonated in your carefully-monitored, systematically-structured life.

Remember this:  You are not crumbling.  You are cracking open.

And from these cracks will slowly sprout the understanding, joy and wisdom you’ve been seeking and didn’t know where to find.

They were there all along, under the heavy pavement of your life, simply waiting to be unearthed.

All of my love,

Jamie

P.S.  Know someone who’s crumbling?  Send them this.

Get the guide, and sign up for Jamie Living Updates...it’s FREE!
0

In the End

We can all get a little agro when it comes how we look and how people perceive us.  We want to be thought of in a certain way and what we believe about our bodies either helps or hinders that image.

We also want to be recognized for our great work.  We secretly (and not so secretly) hope our bodies, accomplishments and accolades will be proof that we are enough, finally acceptable, and hopefully worthy of love.

I adore this poem by my dear friend Tara Mohr for in it she asks us to ponder that perhaps it’s not what we do that’s important, but rather the journey; that our truest accomplishment is courageously walking the path of life, rather than how we looked or what we left behind on it.

In the End By Tara Mohr

In the end

you won’t be known

for the things you did,

or what you built,

or what you said.

You won’t even be known

for the love given

or the hearts saved,

because in the end you won’t be known.

You won’t be asked, by a vast creator full of light:

What did you do to be known?

You will be asked: Did you know it,

this place, this journey?

What there is to know can’t be written.

Something between the crispness of air

and the glint in her eye

and the texture of the orange peel.

What you’ll want a thousand years from now is this:

a memory that beats like a heart—

a travel memory, of what it was to walk here,

alive and warm and textured within.

Sweet brightness, aliveness, take-me-now-ness that is life.

You are here to pay attention. That is enough.

Share this poem by clicking here.

All my love,

Jamie

P.S.  For those of you in Seattle on August 21st, I’m coming to town and I’d love to see you!  I’ll be at Urban Campfire, a fire fueled event meant to engage women in authentic conversations about business, relationships and life.  If you wanna come, use this link with the code CAMP95 to get the early bird discount.  I can’t wait to give you a big hug in person.  XO

Get the guide, and sign up for Jamie Living Updates...it’s FREE!
0

An awakening

If you don’t know Mary Oliver, you are in for a treat today.  A Pulitzer Prize winning poet and supreme nature lover, her words have saved my soul countless times.

When life feels like it has lost its’ luster or I am burdened by the heaviness of it all, this poem reminds me that life is mine to create, to love, lighten and experience as I choose.

When Death Comes By Mary Oliver

When death comes

like the hungry bear in autumn

when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse

to buy me, and snaps his purse shut;

when death comes

like the measle-pox;

when death comes

like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,

I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering;

what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?

And therefore I look upon everything

as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,

and I look upon time as no more than an idea,

and I consider eternity as another possibility,

and I think of each life as a flower, as common

as a field daisy, and as singular,

and each name a comfortable music in the mouth

tending as all music does, toward silence,

and each body a lion of courage, and something

precious to the earth.

When it’s over, I want to say: all my life

I was a bride married to amazement.

I was a bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder

if I have made of my life something particular, and real.

I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened

or full of argument.

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.

Share this poem by clicking here.

All my love,

Jamie

Get the guide, and sign up for Jamie Living Updates...it’s FREE!
1

Start Close In

Change is daunting. Particularly the kind of change that asks us to challenge old patterns around how we view our bodies, our lives and ourselves. Controlling what you eat, worrying about weight, comparing yourself to others and obsessing about getting life “right” can all feel like locked-in ways of being; like fixed patterns that just “are how you are”, unable to change.

New clients often say to me, “I truly want to feel settled in my skin and stop the wars I wage against myself, but honestly, sometimes it feels impossible because I have no idea what that even looks like. How do I get from where I am now to where I want to go? What are the steps to take and how do I know I’m doing it right?”

As a planner and doer I completely understand the desire to know exactly where to go, how to get there and the doubt that creeps in when we don’t seem immediate change. I spent years doing my darndest to figure out how to control all outcomes, often making things more confusing and complicated than necessary.

Coming home, as the poet David Whyte says, starts close in. Trying to control our growth or plan it out 10 steps ahead pulls us away from the peace we seek. We must surrender to the first step, and each one after that.

This poem reminds us that any journey, any new way of being, starts with a single step, the one that’s closest to home.

Start Close In by David Whyte

Start close in,
don’t take the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step
you don’t want to take.

Start with
the ground
you know,
the pale ground
beneath your feet,
your own
way of starting
the conversation.

Start with your own
question,
give up on other
people’s questions,
don’t let them
smother something
simple.

To find
another’s voice,
follow
your own voice,
wait until
that voice
becomes a
private ear
listening
to another

Start right now
take a small step
you can call your own
don’t follow
someone else’s
heroics, be humble
and focused,
start close in,
don’t mistake
that other
for your own.

Start close in,
don’t take
the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step
you don’t want to take.

Share this poem by clicking here.

Lots of love,

Jamie

P.S. Part of starting close in is taking the time to find home within yourself. I’ll be talking about how to actually do that on the upcoming Thrive Now Summit and I’d love for you to join me. Feel free to sign up here.

Get the guide, and sign up for Jamie Living Updates...it’s FREE!
0

Love after Love

I thought I’d start off our poetry month with a piece that popped into my life at the exact moment I needed it.

My marriage had freshly fallen apart and in those early weeks of confusion I took countless walks in the hills behind my house. That morning, like the last month of mornings before it, I was walking and crying.   My mind riddled with thoughts, my vision cloudy with tears.  In my stupor, I made a random right turn and found myself at the top of a staircase between two homes.  On one of the wooden fences that lined the staircase I found the following poem.

2 years later the prose still wakens me to myself, the same way it did on that first day of discovery.

Love after love By Derek Wolcott

The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another; who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Share this poem by clicking here.

All my love,

Jamie

Get the guide, and sign up for Jamie Living Updates...it’s FREE!
0

Breathing Room

I hope you had a wonderful July 4th.   For me, this year was a little different.  Rather than hit a BBQ or lay out a big getaway weekend, I decided to not commit to much and see where my day took me.  For a girl who has always got a plan, this was a very big step.

I drove north towards Pt. Reyes and after taking a random right turn, found myself at a little inlet beach.  It was there, after laying down my blanket and taking in the beautiful water and thick layer of incoming fog (hello summer in San Francisco) that I thought, “Holy heck, I need some breathing room.”

The last few months have been mighty pressed with clients, re-branding and finding a new place to live.  There have been times when it felt like the hits just kept on coming and I wondered, “How long can I bob and weave?”

In sitting on the beach, watching children play I realized two things.

One: We all have incredible capacity to handle the hits life delivers.  The strikes will certainly sting and it may feel like there’s no reprieve.  However if we can let ourselves dance in the ring without expectation with whatever’s thrown our way, the blows soften as do their impact.

Two:  We all need breathing room.  Life is so sweet and can also make us weary and raw.  We require space to recalibrate when the hits keep coming.  Whatever is wearing you down, whether it be work, family, finding Mr. Right, or figuring out your life’s next big move, let yourself tap out for a minute or a month.  Close your computer and step away from the project.  Stop dating until it feels good again.  Trust that what’s next for you is on its way.  There’s no need to hunt it down.

When we give ourselves breathing room and trust to know when it’s time to get back in the ring, we are more grounded, solid and even eager to face the wonders before us. Tweet this.

There are endless ways to take breathing room.  For me, poetry is one of the most accessible avenues to first remember my capacity to hold all that life brings, sweet and bitter, and create space to find my center again when I’ve been knocked on my ass.

The next few weeks will be dedicated to my favorite poems that give me breathing room and bring me back to me.

May they do the same for you.

All my love,

Jamie

Get the guide, and sign up for Jamie Living Updates...it’s FREE!
0

Your July 4th Menu, All Planned Out

First off, I want to thank everyone who emailed me last week about what would feel like a miracle.  The answers were thoughtful, tender, hopeful and spoke to what’s most real for you all right now.  Thank you.

If you didn’t have a chance to respond, simply click reply and tell me what would feel like a miracle to you, because, I still want to know!

OK, onto your July 4th menu.

BBQs are pretty self explanatory, right?

You go with either grilled chicken, burgers or sausages, which is standard fare and honestly, exactly what we all want at a BBQ.

Where it sometimes gets tricky though is getting all the other dishes together.  Of course we could go traditional with macaroni salad and baked beans but I prefer to think outside of the “sides” box.

Below are my favorite July 4th recipes that have you covered from appetizer to dessert.   They’re all fantastic but if I had to choose the one, (ok two), that are always crowd pleasers, I’d go with the Muhammara and the Arugula Salad.  So good!

Appetizer:  Muhammara with pita chips and fresh veggies

Salad:  Arugula and Cabbage salad with parmesan lemon dressing

Side dishes:  Bean salad with sundried tomatoes and Dijon vinagarette and Farro with Roasted Onions

Dessert-  Thyme Scented Peach Crisp with Vanilla bean ice cream

So fire up the grill, slap on some sunscreen, enjoy yourself and revel in the beautiful long weekend.  I know I will.

Want to share this menu with your friends?  Simply click here.

Lots of love and happy July 4th,

Jamie

Get the guide, and sign up for Jamie Living Updates...it’s FREE!
0

I Need Your Thoughts

So, I’m in the middle of a major rebrand for Jamie Living (VERY EXCITING) and it’s kinda rocking my world. Why? Well, in the same way I ask my clients to trust their bodies, I’m now being asked to trust myself in moving from the “healthy eating” conversation to one that asks:

How can we settle into our skin and feel at home in our bodies to reveal what’s most true.

MAJOR.

And to fully embrace this new direction I need your thoughts on 1 simple question.

First know that this email goes straight to me, NOT to my assistant, so feel free to be as open and honest as you like.

Ok, here’s the question (and your answer can relate to anything; career, communication, faith, food, body, you name it):

What would feel like a miracle right now?

That’s all.

Because ultimately, my intention with new direction is to support little miracles in your life; to create pathways and systems that give you the courage to dive into what’s most true and honor your one and only body that has the capacity to face it, hold it and voice it, all.

Thank you in advance for your thoughtful replies.

Much love and again, thank you.

Jamie

Get the guide, and sign up for Jamie Living Updates...it’s FREE!
0
Loading...
It's time to come home to your body. Sign up here. She's waiting.