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How to Be Authentic, Practice Self Compassion, and Take Up Space

This conversation is between myself and an incredible woman named Ani, who shares how she learned how to be authentic, practice self-compassion, and take up space without guilt or shame through my 6-month group coaching program, Homecoming. Ani is a model for how to excavate internalized misogyny and live authentically without fear of others’ opinions. The conversation originally took place on my podcast, The Path Home.

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I'm a Self Care Coach and I Always Use This Self Care Tip

As a self care coach, schedule buffering is one of my go to self care tips after a big presentation, after a work trip, after solo parenting, after a holiday party, and after any sort of transition. I make sure to enter slowly. I don't over commit. I leave LOTS of space for me to take it easy and move at a slower pace rather than slamming into the next thing after having just put so much out.

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Healing our body shame.

My clients are doctors, artists, entrepreneurs, architects, teachers, consultants, aid workers. They are very smart people who cerebrally understand these kinds of shaming images are total bullshit and yet they still struggle with their own body shame. They want to accept and embrace their bodies and yet have no idea where to start. And why would they?

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Action without Expectation

We think that if we slow and let go of expectations, it’ll prove what we’ve secretly thought for years: 1) we’re lazy jerks and 2) we’re never going to get what we want. I can promise that neither are true but it certainly feels true when expectations aren’t being met and our natural inclination is to DOUBLE DOWN on efforts to make sh*t happen.

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Slow and steady keeps me sane.

Wake up, jump/roll out of bed and slam into your day. Eat something. Rush around trying to get as much done as possible. Check Instagram. Compare yourself to others. Eat something. Attempt to check a few more things off your to-do list. Beat yourself up for something you’ve forgotten to do. Eat something. Check Instagram. Feel guilty for not getting enough done. Feel like you’re a barely passable human and most likely failing at most things. Check Instagram. Go to bed.

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Take the compliment.

Today honey, take the compliment.

Don’t deflect. Don’t turn it around. Don’t shoot one back to step out of the spotlight.

Today when your friend says she loves your shoes, don’t tell her how old they are or what you paid for them.

Instead say, “Thank you, I know.”

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