2 words that will change your life
I’ve recently discovered there are 3 words that can change your life. Here they are: “Help, please.” Now I know, you take great pride in doing things all by yourself. I have no doubt you are incredibly capable.
The problem is, and I’m sure you’ve noticed, the “I can do it alone” armor is getting rather heavy.
I know you adore your “I’ve got this sh*t handled” merit badge and have grasped it tight ever since you ironed it on your girl scout sash at the tender age of 5. And “handling it" has gotten you pretty far. Yet recently is hasn’t been feeling so great. Why? Because we are entering a new phase of connectivity and “handling it” by yourself keeps you alone, stuck and wondering how everyone else seems to have it figured out except you.
Newsflash: The most accomplished and content people are those who have learned their strength lies not in going at it alone but by getting real with themselves and asking for help.
But let’s be honest. Sometimes there is no one else and all you’ve got is you. In those moments notice, are you alone because there is legitimately no one, or is it that the people in your life can’t scale the incredibly high walls you’ve put up. People will only bash their heads against the, “No really, I’m fine” wall a certain number of times before they give up.
Truthbomb: The so-called “fierce independence” you’ve stuck to has been an excuse to stay disconnected and protected from hurt. Your cool independence keeps people at arms length so no one can touch the true kernel of YOU that you so vehemently protect.
What would it be like to say those 7 words and share the kernel? What would it feel like to connect and allow yourself the help that’s been offered time and time again?
Likely answer... terrifying. And exhilarating. And relieving because saying YES means you don’t have to stand guard all the time. Often when we aren’t used to sharing our needs we think there’s no one around to help us. Not the case. The people in your life have been waiting for this. Patiently waiting on you to step up, use your voice and say, “Hey, I need some help.”
Another thing: Strength lies in knowing that if for some reason they can’t help, your needs don’t require changing. It means that for now, you have your own back, until the people who are meant to hold your needs with you arrive. The magical part is when you give voice to your needs the right people show up so quickly you wonder where they’ve been all your life. They rise up out of the ashes left by the protective walls you’ve burned down by simply asking.
This is not easy. It's scary as hell and absolutely necessary. Just ask.
Big love,
Jamie