Self Care Versus Soul Care

In this culture, we aren’t taught how to care for ourselves and so we’re left with the beauty-maintenance type of care that, though nice, only keeps us fed for a brief moment. That disconnect sent me looking more closely at care, to find something beyond self care that could access a purer level of nourishment that a pedicure ever could.

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I thought my body image issues were over ... then this happened.

Now, I wish I could tell you my growing love handles didn’t bother me. But the truth is, though I didn’t freak out and go on some crazy, no-fat, no-carb diet like I would have years ago, I definitely harbored fantasies of telling new dude that we couldn’t eat out anymore and had to cut back on the drinking and dessert.

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We belong to each other

From the stories we tell, from the hurt we’ve had. From the broken-hearts and big wins. From the major falls and epic overhauls. The truth is, we only know what we know when we know it. And to hold ourselves and others to impossible standards and should be’s is to disconnect us from us and each other, to forget that we belong.

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Reckless and Wonderful

Yes, having children is reckless. As is starting a business, falling in love, taking on a new project, making time for art or speaking up when it’d be so easy to keep the peace. And yet it’s on the other side of reckless that we find the heart and growth that brings purpose, wisdom and deep satisfaction to our lives.

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[A meditation] Thank you, Body.

On the morning of the third day I woke up early to snag a quick hike with the hope that moving my body might help shake off the fear. Cruising up the hill I took in the sunrise and the hawk gliding above and tried hard to embrace the serenity around me. I made each step a walking meditation, feeling my heel, then the ball of my foot, then my toes touch the earth.

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This body is not taking comments.

When we praise a woman for being “small" we both offer our twisted belief that smaller is better and then shower ourselves with self judgment for not being small, or at least, not “small enough”. This example also works if we were to praise a woman for her being “tall” or “large”, believing that larger is better and then judging ourselves and others for not being “large enough”.

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The well of goodwill

Since that conversation 2 years ago, I’ve thought a lot about the goodwill well of my relationship and how to keep it happy and flowing. General kindness and staying out of resentment are both important and here are a few other actions that Adam, me and my clients use to keep our goodwill wells at healthy levels.

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