Important sh*t I learned after everyone else

I’ve always been the girl with older friends.  “Mature for my age,” as the grown-ups like to say.  At family parties, my parents’ friends often commented, “Jamie’s only 10??  She’s so, well, adult!”  Having a 6th sense for hearing people talk about me, my ears would perk up and I’d think, “That’s right! I’m mature.  I’m SO adult.  I know everything!”

The girl who knows it all…. 

With this admission, you can understand my shock when, in getting older, I realized, “Holy shit!  Remember, that whole I know everything thing?  Yeah, NOT SO MUCH.”

Fast forward to this past February.  I was at a women’s retreatshop when the facilitator, the lovely Rachel Cole,  mentioned a blog by the name of Superhero Journal.  As it turns out, many of the retreatshop participants were there because the authoress of the blog, Andrea Scher, had mentioned it.  Well, that was enough for me.  Andrea was obviously the brilliant woman to know and I needed to get on the Superhero bandwagon fast!   Andrea’s posts are funny, poignant and peppered with stellar photos however it was this particular post that got under my skin and set up shop.  I just couldn’t shake it.  In it she openly lists everything she learned WAY later than other people.  What the what?  It is one thing to recognize you don’t know everything, but it’s quite another to publicly admit it.  I was astonished, seriously impressed and if we are being honest here, a little queasy.

Wait, I have to learn what?

And then I had a total brain flip.  Maybe this is what true adults do?  They get real, pull back the curtain and authentically admit what they don’t know, what they are learning, and how much more they plan to grow.  Holy goodness!  It was a Jamie learning moment I did not see coming.

In opening up my brain and letting this list fall out, it was revealed that with certain things I am, most definitely, a late bloomer.  My inner smarty pants just cringed a little in writing that.  Thankfully I’m now adult enough to forgive myself for my “not knowing” and in fact, relish the notion that my later bloomerness is what makes me my fantastic Jamie self.


So, here it is.  My list of important shit I learned after everyone else:

  • Parents don’t have all the answers
  • Cool kids are insecure too
  • Big hair, big feet & big mouth = BIG awesomeness
  • Though initially created for safety, self imposed rules suppress me
  • Art and creativity come in many forms
  • Walking is, in fact, exercise
  • Things change  (I hate this one)
  • This song is pure, enlightened poetry
  • Not everything is as it appears to be
  • I have a sweet ass (Luv me some lady lumps!)
  • A woman’s tummy is supposed to be curved
  • Moms are human too
  • Doing it alone sucks
  • My humor is a MAJOR selling point
  • Pretty on the outside does not promise pretty on the inside
  • Personal rewards are imperative and sacred
  • Life is not a race (though it can often feel like one)
  • I don’t have to be perfect and in fact it’s my imperfections that make me brilliant and loveable

In the comments below, tell me the important shit YOU learned after everyone else.  Sharing is caring and I can’t wait to hear!

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14 Responses to Important sh*t I learned after everyone else

  1. Amanda April 17, 2012 at 7:33 am #

    Haha, as a fellow ‘mature for my age’ know-it-all I can relate to this post.

    In the past couple of years I’ve finally figured out that this IS life right now, it’s not some distant place where we’ll arrive in the future. It’s here now! I spent so many years trying to get somewhere else, that I often forgot to enjoy the journey. That simple realization has made life so much more fun and given me the needed push to follow my own creative path!

    • Jamie G. Dougherty April 17, 2012 at 1:08 pm #

      Amanda, how true and awesome is that?? I know exactly what it’s like to be waiting and pushing for life to happen when in reality, the good things are happening right now. Much love and congrats on following your creative path!

  2. Cousin Joyce April 17, 2012 at 7:55 am #

    youre brilliant. I love you

  3. Sarah Jenks April 17, 2012 at 8:43 am #

    You don’t always have to be thinner than you were last month.

    Thanks Jamie! Amazing post. Xox

  4. Tanya April 17, 2012 at 11:29 am #

    It’s ok to relish in a compliment and just say “thank you.” Self deprecation is so useless!

  5. Kendra April 17, 2012 at 2:36 pm #

    I agree with Tracy on the it’s okay to accept things from people (including compliments). I’m still learning how to accept help from others. I especially appreciated your post on collaboration vs. competition. I’m learning late in life how to “play well with others”. Thanks for sharing!

    • Jamie G. Dougherty April 17, 2012 at 3:37 pm #

      Very good point and sometimes it can be so tough to accept from others when you are in the mindset of your life being a “one woman show”. Thrilled you enjoyed the competition piece. Not playing well with others comes down to trust, not only of them but of yourself as well. The more you trust yourself, the more you can open up to collaboration. Much love!

  6. beverly Williams April 17, 2012 at 9:28 pm #

    I’ve learned that things/people are not always what they appear to be… It’s okay not to have all the answers or the ablity to solve every problem.

  7. Karen April 18, 2012 at 12:03 am #

    Important things that i learned ‘later’ in life:
    * Being ‘YOURSELF’ is SO MUCH better…& if he doesn’t like it, you don’t need him.
    * Financial stability is important for your future.
    * Using credit cards when you are not getting the emotional or physical love is NOT THE SOLUTION.
    * Being NICE is NOT a sign of being WEAK…it’s a sign that you DO LOVE yourself and others.
    * Purge your ‘stuff’ before you’re 50, if not you’ll reach 50 & wonder “Why do I have all this SH*T?”
    * It REALLY is ok to have a guy as your best friend as long as you’re not sleeping with him….DARN IT!
    * Planning is ok, but you MUST ENJOY the moment, REALLY!!
    * NO ONE IS PERFECT….despite the appearance or act of others….there’s ALWAYS ONE thing that is not quite working right.
    * Addictions are not just drugs, sex & weed…over working, over helping, overeating, over spending, etc all are some kind of addiction. there’s help out there for everyone AND ITS OK!! Just work it out.
    * I CAN still exercise, lose weight, stay in shape AND LOVE doing it!
    * It’s OKAY to be yourself & NOT BE like your parents.

    • Jamie G. Dougherty April 18, 2012 at 5:53 pm #

      Whoa Karen, this is a brilliant list! I particularly love “being nice is NOT a sign of weakness”. I should put that one on my list too ;) Much love and many many thanks for sharing!

  8. Lorenzo April 18, 2012 at 1:37 am #

    One of my all time favorite songs, too. Very nice post.

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